Seen on 6th Avenue, in the teens:
You'll never have to go out again.
Overheard in Union Square Friday evening:
OBNOXIOUS TWENTY-SOMETHING WOMAN: I think I’ve figured out my problem. I’m too good at dating. I think I’m too interesting, and guys can’t handle it.
WOMAN’S PATIENT MALE FRIEND: Yeah, I don’t think that’s it.
Seen at the N, R, D platform, Atlantic-Pacific station, Brooklyn:
He did not.
Overheard in Park Slope, also yesterday evening:
WOMAN: I mean, can you tell me that? It’s been, what, four years now? What am I supposed to tell people when they ask me? WHY AREN’T WE MARRIED? HUH?
MAN: Well, there’s conversations like this, for a start.
Seen on the High Line, two women making out under a pashmina:
Red Riding Hood, indeed. (They did this FOR AN HOUR.)
Overheard on the High Line, as two permissive parents try to talk it out with their insanely screaming and disobedient toddler:
PASSERBY #1: God. Is it too late to abort?
PASSERBY #2: Yeah. Once they’re out of the womb, it’s murder.
PASSERBY #1: No, that’s a mercy killing.
Seen at the New School, near Union Square.
Oh, so that's where they go.
Overheard on the High Line:
MAN: There’s so many guys in the bathroom.
MAN: Like four or five guys, packed in there.
WOMAN: In your ass?!
MAN: What? No. In the bathroom. I can’t fit that many guys in my ass.
WOMAN: How many can you fit?
Seen in Chelsea (not the gentleman quoted above):
He's wearing these on purpose.
Overheard on 14th Street near 8th Avenue:
WOMAN #1: And the Burlington Coat Factory there is shit.
WOMAN #2: Burlington Coat Factory everywhere is shit.
WOMAN #1: No way. I shop there, like, all the time.
WOMAN #2: It’s stuff nobody wants. Everything’s irregular.
WOMAN #1: (A revelation.) Huh. Maybe that’s why nothing ever fits right.
Seen on the Manhattan-bound N train:
Happiness is not a riddle, when you're listening to that BIG BASS FIDDLE!
And finally, one more from the High Line:
I just found them like that.
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