The slogan of a certain famous American fast-food establishment USED to be “Have It Your Way.”
One of the strange things about New York, at least for someone who comes from a very car-dependent suburban lifestyle, is how many accommodations are made for the commuter, the walker,
the victim of the user of public transit. It is a city absolutely designed to make a car a luxury, rather than a necessity.
That is, unless your fat ass wants a hamburger after 10:00 at night.
My neighborhood outpost of McDumbass is literally one block from my apartment. It is absolutely walkable. It should not require a car in order to partake of its artery-clogging goodness. Yes, it has a drive-thru, but this is New York, city of the aformentioned accommodations. I mean, hell, even the Rally’s in the ‘hoodiest ‘hoods of New Orleans have friggin’ walk-up windows, and that’s one of the crime capitals of the country. (And I say that with love, y’all. Don’t get your panties in a twist.)
So I truck my big butt over to the McDumb to get my burger on at 11:15 p.m. The dining area closed at 10:00, but I can see the manager flirting with a little pudge-ball cashier. I knock on the window.
They both mouth “Closed!” at me, ready to get back to their antics.
I yell, “Do I need a car to use the drive-thru?”
They nod. (Mind you, I’m being a teensy bit obstinate here, as our car is parked at the corner of the same intersection where this McD is. But I’m not going to move it and give up a good spot.)
I yell, “There’s no way I can walk up to get something to eat?”
They shake their heads. (Mind you, there is not one single car in that drive-thru lane.)
I yell, “Are you serious?”
The pudge-ball comes around the counter a little bit, and she yells, “You have to driiiiiiive,” like I’m an idiot. Then, to seal the deal, she puts her hands out in front of her and moves them back-and-forth, like she’s acting out steering wheel in a game of Charades.
I look to the manager, and he does the same steering wheel gesture, like they’re on some kind of team and they want to WIN.
I wanted to hurt them.
Granted, I was not terribly inconvenienced, but really, what a stupid rule. Sure, someone could hold up your drive-thru window on foot, but THEY COULD DO THE SAME THING IN A CAR AND MAKE A FASTER GETAWAY. Seriously, have they not considered that possibility?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.