The Huffington Post has posted a link to a video simulation of what could (COULD COULD COULD…not necessarily WILL) happen if the asteroid Apophis strikes our happy little planet. [WARNING: Pink Floyd soundtrack.]
Apparently, there is a 1-in-250,000 chance of such a collision, and I guess in the grand scheme of things, those are pretty decent odds. Actually, I have no idea whether those odds are pretty decent or incredibly shitty, but damn, is this video cool. (You can also watch it here!)
It’s just a matter of time before Roland Emmerich makes a full-length out of this one, like The Day After Tomorrow, where Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal run from air, or 2012, where John Cusack outdrives a great Mayan-predicted chasm in the earth.
You may recall last month’s zodiac rejiggering
hoax confusion and the inclusion of the oft-ignored Ophiuchus, whom most people were quick to dismiss despite his cool name. Well, we may want to keep him around for awhile. See, Ophiuchus is the serpent-bearer, and he was originally the doctor Asclepius, who had figured out a way to prevent death by using serpents and venom. Zeus wanted the humans to stay mortal, so he thunderbolted Asclepius and cast him into the sky, where he became Ophiuchus.
Whether he’s Asclepius gripping his rod or Ophiuchus wrangling his serpent, we could use him if Apophis decides to come this way. Apophis is the Greek name for the Egyptian SERPENT OF CHAOS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Of course, it took a lot less to scare the hell of the Ancient Egyptians. They saw Apophis like this:
Whereas, nowadays, we see Apophis more like this:
Of course, if you’re a Stargate SG-1 fan, Apophis looks like this:
Yeah, we need a little Ophiuchus, or we’re gonna be Ophiucked.