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Archive for the ‘Holidays’ Category

Too far from New Orleans to see the parades in person this year? Never been to Mardi Gras? From someplace where “parade” means a bunch of people walking and waving? Now you can watch the Uptown parades from a nice spot on St. Charles, live on your li’l computer! Yay! Throw me somethin’, mister!

UPDATE:  Oh, and here’s a link to the schedule, which also includes links to other parade cams!  Thanks, Nola.com!  Y’all check it out and pass y’all a good time.

UPDATE #2:  My friend Ricky just pointed out to me that that’s Fat Harry’s!  And wouldn’t you know it, Nola.com has a FAQ page that proves him right!  Click on the pic below!

Fat Harry's Parade Cam!

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Is this happening everywhere?  Today, on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon – the 27th of February, in fact – walking around Park Slope, I was struck by the sheer number of people who won’t or can’t let Christmas 2010 pass into the record books.

(I took every single one of these pictures, and I took them earlier TODAY.  And by today, I mean Sunday, 27 February 2011.)

This is how it went down:

I’m walking to the Key Food for toilet paper and a roll of quarters (unrelated necessities), and I see this in the window of the New China Tung nearby:

We have this very same decoration. The one in the middle, I mean.

 

By itself, no big deal.  One random Christmas decoration in one random window does not a crisis make.  But then, in the Key Food itself, I see this in the breakfast aisle, between wheat germ and oatmeal:

Egg Nog for breakfast? Maybe. But only in DECEMBER, where it belongs!

 

Weird, huh?  Well, wait!  Walking home, I begin to notice the scary abundance of neglected Christmas all around me.  For example, a massage parlor:

"Away in a Massage Parlor..." "Acupuncture Fideles..."

 

The  vegan yogurt place:

At least they're owning up to the "year-round" thing.

 

One of the five-thousand real estate agencies on 5th Avenue:

Subtle, but still wrong.

 

Nearly apoplectic with shock, I hurried home.  But when I took Margot out for a walk, the horrors followed me.

A parenthetical observation:  One of the strangest sights in New York is the proliferation of dead trees after Christmas.  It starts literally the day after, with dead trees strewn on curbs in front of buildings inhabited by people who probably shouldn’t have bothered with the Christmas fuss at all if they were so ready to ditch the damn things.  Then, it continues for weeks, well into January, with tree carcasses finally appearing on the stoops of people who are fascinated with decay, or who really like the smell of dried pine, or who were probably just too busy to take the ornaments off the dead thing in the living room.

But it’s the penultimate day of February.  There is no excuse.

Please take me...six weeks ago.

 

My whole block is a feast of sad Christmas blight:

It didn't grow this way, but this is how it will DIE.

 

A-wreath-a Funklin

 

Seven Deadly Sins: Lust, Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, and WREATH

 

A stick in a door? A crappy half-string of lights? YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY!

 

Let it NO.

 

In one building, you can even see Christmas crap haphazardly piled in the window, as if a tornado of good sense swept up (almost) all the other neighborhood decorations and deposited them here.

 

This is where Christmas goes to die.

 

I think the best shot I took is of desiccated evergreen with fake berries in a window planter.  I like it because the silhouette reflection of another tree in the window reminds me of the evil forest at the beginning of Tales from the Darkside.

 

Because dragging Christmas into March is EEEEVIL.

 

Maybe I’m overreacting.  Maybe the sustained celebration of holidays is just a New York thing.  I mean, look what was in my miso soup today:

 

Aw, you love me? Well, I loved you two weeks ago.

 

To be fair, I passed New China Tung again later on, and I noticed something positively progressive on their door:

 

You'd think this is for Easter. You'd be wrong.

 

But then I realized…it’s not Hoppy Early Easter.  No.

 

It’s Hoppy Late New Year…of the Rabbit.

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